Didn't know where else to put this....
Weird or what?
http://www.patmedia.net/marklevinson/co ... usion.html
The New Vak 425 Pathetic Joke Corner
Moderators: ajaxusa, Kowalczyk, mods
-
Manneken Pis
- Berichten: 1331
- Lid geworden op: do feb 03, 2005 4:29 pm
- Locatie: Brussels
I do NOT trust my brain anymore! Not after this and that foot turning thing you posted earlier.Manneken Pis schreef:Didn't know where else to put this....
Weird or what?
http://www.patmedia.net/marklevinson/co ... usion.html
Why do you build me up? BUTTERCUP!
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SE6Ajacied
- Berichten: 2437
- Lid geworden op: wo mar 23, 2005 1:14 pm
- Locatie: Still quite close to London SE6
That's as bizzare as you like...and these things don't normally work with mee because one of my eyes is dodgy.....as a 10 year old in the 3D cinema I must have been the only one who didn't see the train on the screen heading straight for me......Manneken Pis schreef:Didn't know where else to put this....
Weird or what?
http://www.patmedia.net/marklevinson/co ... usion.html
Forza Haarlem. HFC Gone but not forgotten!
-
SE6Ajacied
- Berichten: 2437
- Lid geworden op: wo mar 23, 2005 1:14 pm
- Locatie: Still quite close to London SE6
DRINK MATHEMATICS
This is pretty neat how it works out.
This is cool beer maths!!!!!!!
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
It takes less than a minute.......
Work this out as you read.
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out! This is not
one of those waste of time things, it's fun.
1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to
have a drink. (try for more than once)
2. Multiply this number by 2 (Just to be honest)
3. Add 5. (for Sunday)
4. Multiply it by 50 I'll wait while you get the calculator................
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1755.... If you
haven't, add 1754 ...
6. Now subtract the four-digit year that you were born.
You should have a three-digit number
The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have a drink a week).
The next two numbers are .......
YOUR AGE! ~ (Oh YES, it IS!!!!!)
THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS.
This is pretty neat how it works out.
This is cool beer maths!!!!!!!
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
It takes less than a minute.......
Work this out as you read.
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out! This is not
one of those waste of time things, it's fun.
1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to
have a drink. (try for more than once)
2. Multiply this number by 2 (Just to be honest)
3. Add 5. (for Sunday)
4. Multiply it by 50 I'll wait while you get the calculator................
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1755.... If you
haven't, add 1754 ...
6. Now subtract the four-digit year that you were born.
You should have a three-digit number
The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have a drink a week).
The next two numbers are .......
YOUR AGE! ~ (Oh YES, it IS!!!!!)
THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS.
Forza Haarlem. HFC Gone but not forgotten!
-
The Purple Cow
- Berichten: 448
- Lid geworden op: vr nov 07, 2003 11:03 am
- Locatie: Nantwich
- Contacteer:
-
AsgAarD_xxx
- Berichten: 552
- Lid geworden op: vr apr 22, 2005 9:04 am
- Locatie: Piaseczno, Poland
- Contacteer:
Bush and a prime minister of Pakistan sitting in a bar. Then came a client and asked:
-Excuse me, are you Bush and the prime minister of Pakistan?
-Yes, we are
-May I ask what are you doing here?
-We are planning a war in Afghanistan
-And what will happen?
-Our soldiers are going to kill 14 mln Afghan people and one car mechanic
-One car mechanic?????????
Then Bush says to the prime minister of Pakistan
-I told you that!! Nobody cares about 14 mln of Afghan people
-Excuse me, are you Bush and the prime minister of Pakistan?
-Yes, we are
-May I ask what are you doing here?
-We are planning a war in Afghanistan
-And what will happen?
-Our soldiers are going to kill 14 mln Afghan people and one car mechanic
-One car mechanic?????????
Then Bush says to the prime minister of Pakistan
-I told you that!! Nobody cares about 14 mln of Afghan people
-
English Eagle
- Berichten: 140
- Lid geworden op: ma aug 29, 2005 10:41 am
- Locatie: Basingstoke, England
The New Bike.
Terry always wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck finding just the right one,until, one day he comes across a beautiful Honda Goldwing standing in the street,with a 'For Sale' sign on it.
The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It
is shiny,in absolute mint condition,and at a very cheap asking price.
So,he immediately hands over the cash, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great
condition for 10 years.
"Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is
outside and it's going to rain, I rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it
from the rain."
And he hands Terry a big jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents.
Naturally, they ride the new bike there.
But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, "I have to
tell you something about my family before we go in. We have a little family tradition,
when we eat dinner, no-one talks at all.
In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the
dishes."
"No problem," he says. And in they go.
Terry is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge
stack of dirty dishes.
In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes.
Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.
They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.
As dinner progresses, Terry decides to take advantage of the situation. So
he leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word.
So he reaches over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word.
So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table,
and screws her right there, in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her
Mum is horrified,her brother and sister do not know where to look……….. he sits back down, Sandra composes herself……..but still,no one says a word.
He looks at her Mum. "She's got a great body," he thinks.
So he grabs the Mother, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with
her every which way,right there in front of everyone.
Now his Sandra is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total
silence.
Terry then eyes up Sandra`s sister…………same thing………over the table,up against the wall…………every which way,still………….nothing,total silence.
All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.
Terry remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.
Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts,
"All right, that's enough, I'll do the f*cking dishes!"
Terry always wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck finding just the right one,until, one day he comes across a beautiful Honda Goldwing standing in the street,with a 'For Sale' sign on it.
The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It
is shiny,in absolute mint condition,and at a very cheap asking price.
So,he immediately hands over the cash, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great
condition for 10 years.
"Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is
outside and it's going to rain, I rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it
from the rain."
And he hands Terry a big jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents.
Naturally, they ride the new bike there.
But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, "I have to
tell you something about my family before we go in. We have a little family tradition,
when we eat dinner, no-one talks at all.
In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the
dishes."
"No problem," he says. And in they go.
Terry is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge
stack of dirty dishes.
In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes.
Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.
They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.
As dinner progresses, Terry decides to take advantage of the situation. So
he leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word.
So he reaches over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word.
So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table,
and screws her right there, in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her
Mum is horrified,her brother and sister do not know where to look……….. he sits back down, Sandra composes herself……..but still,no one says a word.
He looks at her Mum. "She's got a great body," he thinks.
So he grabs the Mother, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with
her every which way,right there in front of everyone.
Now his Sandra is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total
silence.
Terry then eyes up Sandra`s sister…………same thing………over the table,up against the wall…………every which way,still………….nothing,total silence.
All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.
Terry remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.
Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts,
"All right, that's enough, I'll do the f*cking dishes!"
-
SE6Ajacied
- Berichten: 2437
- Lid geworden op: wo mar 23, 2005 1:14 pm
- Locatie: Still quite close to London SE6
This is really wierd....
http://www.qarxis.com/Fainting_Goats
I think you'll need to cut and paste the address into your web browser to get it to open but it is worth it.
http://www.qarxis.com/Fainting_Goats
I think you'll need to cut and paste the address into your web browser to get it to open but it is worth it.
Forza Haarlem. HFC Gone but not forgotten!
-
Manneken Pis
- Berichten: 1331
- Lid geworden op: do feb 03, 2005 4:29 pm
- Locatie: Brussels
Exclusively revealed....the Ajax striker's training video.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=takoU8zUoHM
;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=takoU8zUoHM
;)
“If I wanted you to understand it, I would have explained it better.”
Good one! :xyxthumbs:Manneken Pis schreef:Exclusively revealed....the Ajax striker's training video.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=takoU8zUoHM
;)
Has anyone seen the Limecat?
-
Manneken Pis
- Berichten: 1331
- Lid geworden op: do feb 03, 2005 4:29 pm
- Locatie: Brussels
Very weird....I'm surprised evolution/survival of the fittest hasn't whiped them out.SE6Ajacied schreef:This is really wierd....
http://www.qarxis.com/Fainting_Goats
I think you'll need to cut and paste the address into your web browser to get it to open but it is worth it.
“If I wanted you to understand it, I would have explained it better.”
-
Manneken Pis
- Berichten: 1331
- Lid geworden op: do feb 03, 2005 4:29 pm
- Locatie: Brussels
Man and woman go to bed....
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
He says "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to his puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, he went to sleep.
The very next day he opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. They went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. He walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so he told her they'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so he said let's get a pair for each outfit. They
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought he was
one wave short of a shipwreck. He started to think she was testing him because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. He thought he threw her for a loop when he said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."
He could hardly contain himself when he blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"
He then said "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill him, he added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently he's not having sex tonight either.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
He says "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to his puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, he went to sleep.
The very next day he opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. They went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. He walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so he told her they'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so he said let's get a pair for each outfit. They
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought he was
one wave short of a shipwreck. He started to think she was testing him because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. He thought he threw her for a loop when he said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."
He could hardly contain himself when he blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"
He then said "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill him, he added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently he's not having sex tonight either.
“If I wanted you to understand it, I would have explained it better.”
-
SE6Ajacied
- Berichten: 2437
- Lid geworden op: wo mar 23, 2005 1:14 pm
- Locatie: Still quite close to London SE6
-
Manneken Pis
- Berichten: 1331
- Lid geworden op: do feb 03, 2005 4:29 pm
- Locatie: Brussels
-
SE6Ajacied
- Berichten: 2437
- Lid geworden op: wo mar 23, 2005 1:14 pm
- Locatie: Still quite close to London SE6
I meant the whole joke (really does belong on the bad jokes page) but don't worry as I think I prefer the question as it came out :xyxthumbs:Manneken Pis schreef:That's what he told me...... ;)SE6Ajacied schreef::D :D :D :xyxthumbs: Where did you get that from?Manneken Pis schreef:
Apparently he's not having sex tonight either.
Forza Haarlem. HFC Gone but not forgotten!
-
SE6Ajacied
- Berichten: 2437
- Lid geworden op: wo mar 23, 2005 1:14 pm
- Locatie: Still quite close to London SE6
Those wanting to go to the Inter away game but who can't afford the airfare might like to take this helicopter.....but be warned, it's quite addictive :D
http://www.hurtwood.demon.co.uk/Fun/copter.swf
http://www.hurtwood.demon.co.uk/Fun/copter.swf
Forza Haarlem. HFC Gone but not forgotten!
-
Over Pasanens Head
- Berichten: 829
- Lid geworden op: do nov 06, 2003 2:45 pm
- Locatie: Not Where He Would Like To Be
Joke of the day
A man enters a confessional and says to the Irish Priest, "Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I've had s*x with Fannie Green every week for the last month." The priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's'." Soon, another man enters the confessional. "Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had s*x with Fannie Green twice a week for the last two months." This time the priest asks, "Who is this Fannie Green?" A new woman in the neighbourhood," the sinner replies. Very well," says the priest. "Go and say ten 'Hail Mary's'." The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his sermon when a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church. All the men's eyes fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down in front of the Altar. Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes. The priest and altar boy gasp as the woman sits down with her legs slightly spread apart, Sharon Stone-style. The priest turns to the altar boy and whisperingly asks, "Is that Fannie Green?" The altar boy replies, "No Father, I think its just the reflection off her shoes"
A man enters a confessional and says to the Irish Priest, "Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I've had s*x with Fannie Green every week for the last month." The priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's'." Soon, another man enters the confessional. "Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had s*x with Fannie Green twice a week for the last two months." This time the priest asks, "Who is this Fannie Green?" A new woman in the neighbourhood," the sinner replies. Very well," says the priest. "Go and say ten 'Hail Mary's'." The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his sermon when a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church. All the men's eyes fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down in front of the Altar. Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes. The priest and altar boy gasp as the woman sits down with her legs slightly spread apart, Sharon Stone-style. The priest turns to the altar boy and whisperingly asks, "Is that Fannie Green?" The altar boy replies, "No Father, I think its just the reflection off her shoes"
Well rock and roll is such a crazy drug,
It wraps you up in a great big hug
It wraps you up in a great big hug
-
Over Pasanens Head
- Berichten: 829
- Lid geworden op: do nov 06, 2003 2:45 pm
- Locatie: Not Where He Would Like To Be
The Lone Ranger
The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian war party.
The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In honour of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days. But, before I kill you, I will grant you three requests. What is your first request?"
The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."
The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who whispers in Silver's ear and the horse gallops away. Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back.
As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.
The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse but I will still kill you in two days. What is your second request?"
The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear. As before, Silver takes off across the plains and disappears over the horizon.
Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a brunette, even more attractive than the blonde. She enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.
The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed. "You are indeed a man of many talents but I still kill you tomorrow. "What is your last request?"
The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse....alone."
The Chief is curious but he agrees and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.
Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says, "Listen very carefully you dumb ass horse. For the last time . . . BRING POSSEEEE!!!!"
The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian war party.
The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In honour of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days. But, before I kill you, I will grant you three requests. What is your first request?"
The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."
The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who whispers in Silver's ear and the horse gallops away. Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back.
As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.
The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse but I will still kill you in two days. What is your second request?"
The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear. As before, Silver takes off across the plains and disappears over the horizon.
Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a brunette, even more attractive than the blonde. She enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.
The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed. "You are indeed a man of many talents but I still kill you tomorrow. "What is your last request?"
The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse....alone."
The Chief is curious but he agrees and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.
Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says, "Listen very carefully you dumb ass horse. For the last time . . . BRING POSSEEEE!!!!"
Well rock and roll is such a crazy drug,
It wraps you up in a great big hug
It wraps you up in a great big hug
-
SE6Ajacied
- Berichten: 2437
- Lid geworden op: wo mar 23, 2005 1:14 pm
- Locatie: Still quite close to London SE6
Count Dracula is on the pull in London. He spends the night drinking bloody
Mary's in various clubs and biting on unsuspecting women's necks.
He is heading for home, wandering around Covent Garden sometime before
sunrise. Suddenly he is hit on the back of the head. He looks round and sees nothing. He looks down and sees a small sausage roll.
Mmmm, he thinks What's going on here. A few yards further on and .. BANG.
Smacked on the back of the head again!
He whirls round as quick as he can, nothing. Again he looks down and there
is a small triangular sandwich lying on the ground.
How odd!!
A few yards further along the street and ... crash. Smacked on the back of
the head again!! He whirls round as quick as he can, nothing. He's getting
really angry now. Again he looks down and there is a cocktail sausage lying
on the ground.
He stands and peers into the darkness of the night. Nothing. He walks a few
yards further on when he gets a tap on the shoulder. With a swirl of his
cape and a cloud of mist he turns as fast as he can.
He feels a sharp pain in his heart. He falls to the ground clutching his
chest, which is punctured by a small cocktail stick laden with a chunk of
cheese and a pickle. On the ground dying, he looks up and sees a young
female.
With his dying breath he gasps, "Who Are You ?
She replies, "I'm BUFFET, The Vampire Slayer." :D
Mary's in various clubs and biting on unsuspecting women's necks.
He is heading for home, wandering around Covent Garden sometime before
sunrise. Suddenly he is hit on the back of the head. He looks round and sees nothing. He looks down and sees a small sausage roll.
Mmmm, he thinks What's going on here. A few yards further on and .. BANG.
Smacked on the back of the head again!
He whirls round as quick as he can, nothing. Again he looks down and there
is a small triangular sandwich lying on the ground.
How odd!!
A few yards further along the street and ... crash. Smacked on the back of
the head again!! He whirls round as quick as he can, nothing. He's getting
really angry now. Again he looks down and there is a cocktail sausage lying
on the ground.
He stands and peers into the darkness of the night. Nothing. He walks a few
yards further on when he gets a tap on the shoulder. With a swirl of his
cape and a cloud of mist he turns as fast as he can.
He feels a sharp pain in his heart. He falls to the ground clutching his
chest, which is punctured by a small cocktail stick laden with a chunk of
cheese and a pickle. On the ground dying, he looks up and sees a young
female.
With his dying breath he gasps, "Who Are You ?
She replies, "I'm BUFFET, The Vampire Slayer." :D
Forza Haarlem. HFC Gone but not forgotten!
-
Manneken Pis
- Berichten: 1331
- Lid geworden op: do feb 03, 2005 4:29 pm
- Locatie: Brussels
Some of these are very funny and some not so very politically correct so please don't read on if easily offended.
Apparently this was the chant to Lord of the Dance tune at the Man > United the
other day:
"Park, Park, Where ever you may be
You eat dogs in your home country
But it could be worse
You could be a scouse
Eating rats in your council house"
2 **************************************
(To the tune of The Addams Family) by fans visiting Norwich:
Your sister is your mother
Your uncle is your brother
You all f@*k one another
The Norwich family
Der der der der clap clap etc
3 **************************************
Newcastle fans towards Sunderland fans.
'Going down, going down, going down.'
Sunderland fans reply.....
'So are we, so are we, so are we.'
4 ***************************************
"Wheres your real dad, wheres your real dad!?"
Charlton fans to Shaun Wright-Philips
5 ***************************************
Toon fans to JF Hasselbaink. He even laughed!:
"You're just a fat Eddie Murphy"
6 ***************************************
(To the tune of Craig David - Rewind):
"VAN PER-SIE, WHEN A GIRL SAYS NO - MOLEST HER"
7 ***************************************
To Graham Rix when he was released from prison after being convicted for, well,
you know... (To the Manic Street Preachers song):
"If you tolerate RIX, then your children will be next"
8 ****************************************
West Brom sang:
The premier league is upside down
The premier league is upside down
We're up the top Chelsea bottom
The premier league is upside down
Then a few seconds later
Champions...............champions..............champions
9 ***************************************
He's here, he's there
We're not allowed to swear
Frank Leboeuf, Frank Leboeuf"
Chelsea fans after Leboeuf said in a radio interview that he didn't like the
idea of a swear word in his song.
10 **************************************
A song about Tim Howard's tourettes syndrome.....
*in style of Chim-Chiminey*
Tim timminy
Tim timminy
Tim Tim Tirooo
We've got Tim Howard and he says F*CK YOU!!
11 ***************************************
In reference to Jaime Carragher's dad being banned from football stadia after
being arrested for being drunk at a football match...
He's red,
He's sound,
He's banned from every ground,
Carra's dad,
Carra's dad
12 ***************************************
Sung by Birmingham fans after Heskey started banging in the goals at St
Andreews...
Theres only one Emile Heskey,
One Emile Heskey,
He used to be sh**e,
But now hes alright,
Walking in a Heskey wonderland
13 ***************************************
Here's a beauty sung at Highbury when Cygan is drafted in as emergency cover...
He's bald,
He's sh*t,
He gets a game when no-one's fit,
Pascal Cygan!
Pascal Cygan!
14 ***************************************
To the tune of Rebel Rebel
Neville Neville, you play in defence,
Neville Neville, your play is immense,
Neville Neville, like Jacko you're bad,
Neville Neville is the name of your dad
15 ****************************************
Don't blame it on the Biscan,
Don't blame it on the Hamann,
Don't blame it on the Finnan,
Blame it on Traore,
He just can't, He just can't, He just can't control his feet. He just can't, He
just can't, He just can't control his feet.
16 **************************************
"Two Andy Gorams, there's only two Andy Gorams"...
Celtic fans to Andy Goram after it's revealed the chubby keeper was diagnosed
with Schizophrenia.
Apparently this was the chant to Lord of the Dance tune at the Man > United the
other day:
"Park, Park, Where ever you may be
You eat dogs in your home country
But it could be worse
You could be a scouse
Eating rats in your council house"
2 **************************************
(To the tune of The Addams Family) by fans visiting Norwich:
Your sister is your mother
Your uncle is your brother
You all f@*k one another
The Norwich family
Der der der der clap clap etc
3 **************************************
Newcastle fans towards Sunderland fans.
'Going down, going down, going down.'
Sunderland fans reply.....
'So are we, so are we, so are we.'
4 ***************************************
"Wheres your real dad, wheres your real dad!?"
Charlton fans to Shaun Wright-Philips
5 ***************************************
Toon fans to JF Hasselbaink. He even laughed!:
"You're just a fat Eddie Murphy"
6 ***************************************
(To the tune of Craig David - Rewind):
"VAN PER-SIE, WHEN A GIRL SAYS NO - MOLEST HER"
7 ***************************************
To Graham Rix when he was released from prison after being convicted for, well,
you know... (To the Manic Street Preachers song):
"If you tolerate RIX, then your children will be next"
8 ****************************************
West Brom sang:
The premier league is upside down
The premier league is upside down
We're up the top Chelsea bottom
The premier league is upside down
Then a few seconds later
Champions...............champions..............champions
9 ***************************************
He's here, he's there
We're not allowed to swear
Frank Leboeuf, Frank Leboeuf"
Chelsea fans after Leboeuf said in a radio interview that he didn't like the
idea of a swear word in his song.
10 **************************************
A song about Tim Howard's tourettes syndrome.....
*in style of Chim-Chiminey*
Tim timminy
Tim timminy
Tim Tim Tirooo
We've got Tim Howard and he says F*CK YOU!!
11 ***************************************
In reference to Jaime Carragher's dad being banned from football stadia after
being arrested for being drunk at a football match...
He's red,
He's sound,
He's banned from every ground,
Carra's dad,
Carra's dad
12 ***************************************
Sung by Birmingham fans after Heskey started banging in the goals at St
Andreews...
Theres only one Emile Heskey,
One Emile Heskey,
He used to be sh**e,
But now hes alright,
Walking in a Heskey wonderland
13 ***************************************
Here's a beauty sung at Highbury when Cygan is drafted in as emergency cover...
He's bald,
He's sh*t,
He gets a game when no-one's fit,
Pascal Cygan!
Pascal Cygan!
14 ***************************************
To the tune of Rebel Rebel
Neville Neville, you play in defence,
Neville Neville, your play is immense,
Neville Neville, like Jacko you're bad,
Neville Neville is the name of your dad
15 ****************************************
Don't blame it on the Biscan,
Don't blame it on the Hamann,
Don't blame it on the Finnan,
Blame it on Traore,
He just can't, He just can't, He just can't control his feet. He just can't, He
just can't, He just can't control his feet.
16 **************************************
"Two Andy Gorams, there's only two Andy Gorams"...
Celtic fans to Andy Goram after it's revealed the chubby keeper was diagnosed
with Schizophrenia.
“If I wanted you to understand it, I would have explained it better.”
-
aveslacker
- Berichten: 2925
- Lid geworden op: do feb 03, 2005 4:33 pm
- Locatie: Hong Kong!